In 2007 I was the whitest kid on the swim team. My European ancestors blessed me with the distinct “gift” of glowing a freak-show translucent white under the California sun. This earned me the endearing nickname “Albino” at school and at practice. Desperately wanting to fit in with my bronze swim team peers, I tried to develop some commonality between us. So I did some research. Through careful observation I found a link between not only everyone on my swim team and in my school, but literally everyone in San Diego. I learned everybody loved 3 things: weed, Sublime and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. As I couldn’t seem to develop a taste for Marijuana or Sublime, I decided I would load my Ipod Nano with the Chili Peppers’ discography. Then I would still be super pale, but I could be pale and cool with a fresh music taste.
I was seeking acceptance but I found something else. Almost instantly I became captivated by the energy of the band- somehow simultaneously crazy energetic and beautifully relaxing. My newfound fandom had the opposite effect than I originally intended. It served to isolate me from my peers even more, as I discovered my headphones could drown out any name calling and calm my pre-race nerves. This time I welcomed the isolation. I would sit on the pool deck, feeling nauseous knowing I had to compete, and even worse: a crowd of people would see my embarrassing skin. But the opening riff of “Scar Tissue” served as a habitual pick-me-up, with John Frusciante’s soothing backing vocals taking the edge off my nerves. Before I knew it, “Californication” was my refuge from anxiety and bullying, on or off the pool deck. (While I am not sure if the fact that the Chili Peppers are known for playing with only a sock on their penis gave me more courage to wear a speedo, it couldn’t have hurt either.)
Twelve years have passed since my swim team days. A lot has happened since then, but from all the goings on of the last decade, there are two events that are significant to this story:
John Frusciante left the Red Hot Chili Peppers for the second time after recording “Stadium Arcadium” and the supporting tour.
I moved to New York City a week ago.
That’s right, I packed up all my guitar gear and left the small, friendly music scene of Utah to sink or swim in the "Big Apple." Although I am happy to report that diversity of city provides much more variety in both skin tone and music taste, It’s still quite overwhelming here. It’s easy to feel forgotten and alone amongst the sea of people, even if some of them are as shockingly white as me.
Honestly I’ve mostly felt happy excitement since my move, but over the weekend I had a bit of a breakdown. I got lost trying to navigate public transit and I felt the return of that special kind of loneliness I experienced at swim meets years ago- the kind of loneliness where you are surrounded by people, but your existence is all but meaningless to them. So naturally, I pulled out my headphones and the opening riff of “Scar Tissue” took me to a warm, familiar place.
The next day, scrolling through Instagram I read the news that Frusciante is returning to the band after his 10 year absence. Hope to see you somewhere in the city, John.
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